I was going to go to Lincoln this weekend. I was excited, because that way I'd get three springs. Spring comes early in Tennessee, and I was there last week. Next I was going to go to Lincoln, where I think I'd catch a bit of blossom-time or maybe the budding of a few leaves. And last of all, about the middle of April, Michigan would be in full bloom.

But my ingenious plan to thwart Father Time and Mother Nature isn't going to work. When I hit about 60 mph, my car is shake-rattle-'n'-rolling with no explanation. I've been to three mechanics, and no one has yet fixed the problem. Well, THAT problem, anyways . . . they've found others. And my air-conditioning stopped working last week, so that's yet another fly in the ointment.

Really, the biggest problem, though, is my comps. These are basically my exit exams for the Masters program--comprehensive essay tests, the term "comprehensive" indicating that anything I've ever learned about English or literature is fair game. And they're on Monday and Tuesday. If I went to Lincoln, I would have no time on the road to finish brushing up and reading all my class notes of the past two years. Also, if my unstable car breaks down, I might miss the exams entirely.

No one at Andrews has ever failed their comps. A couple people have had to rewrite them, but no one has actually failed. I'd really hate to be the first. It's almost pointless to study, since it's such a huge subject area. I either know it or I don't. I can either write a kick-ass answer to the questions right now, or I can't at all.

Either way, it will be good to finally be finished here at Andrews. I'll be sad to leave my department, my darling teachers and friends. I love the conversation in this department, the hilarity. I'll be sad to miss the Flannery O'Connor class they're offering next semester. But here at the end, I feel like I'm hacking off the ever-multiplying heads of a hydra . . . one assignment down, several more to go and they keep springing up at me. Finally, once and for all, I'll be able to whack those leering heads right off, cauterize the bloody stumps, and bury that one eternally hissing and spitting head under a giant boulder . . . at least until I start my Ph.D.

Man, I'm such an English major.

This morning, I pulled a shirt out of a drawer that I hadn't worn since last summer.

It still smelled like sunscreen.

I know I do a lot of bitching about the weather, both in person and online, but let me just express my absolute relief and delight that it is finally warming up. I'm in Tennessee right now, for a much-needed respite from the north, and there are flowers blooming everywhere. Right now it's in the upper 70's. Yesterday I wore shorts. Shorts!

Last summer I listed my Top 10 things I love about living in Michigan. Now, in the spirit of sun-drenched ease and generosity, let me share my Bottom 10, presented in degrees Fahrenheit.


-1. The way all wool clothes are too cold for outside, but too hot to wear inside, so I spend all day uncomfortably sweaty.
-2. The way all wool clothes need to be drycleaned after a winter of sweating in them.
-3. Losing 4 pairs of gloves.
-4. Driving bare-handed with an icy steering wheel to go buy some more gloves.
-5. Being late for school and then remembering that I should have budgeted at least 10 minutes to scrape/brush off my car.
-6. Being very late for school and remembering that I can't drive fast because I might die on the roads or, at the very least, bury my car in a snowbank, at which point I'll want to die of humiliation.
-7. Having so much ice build up on your roof that it drags your gutters down.
-8. Having so much ice build up on your driveway that you have to use a hammer to smash it.
-9. Cold and dark.
-10. No motivation to go anywhere or do anything because of the cold and dark.

Hooray for Spring!