I think I'm, by nature, a fan. I haven't talked to my boss Tanya, who studies fans and fandom, about this, but it's my guess, because when I decide to love something, I stick to it long after anyone else gives it up. I was a loyal MySpacer for several months after all my other friends had gone to Facebook. I banked with Wells Fargo for two years at Andrews when there wasn't a Wells Fargo to be found in the state of Michigan, and my closest bank was a 35-minute drive away. Even though most of the people I hang out with call Taco Bell "Taco Hell" or "Taco Smell" or some other cheesy derogatory name, I still adore Taco Bell. And even though, as internet phenomena, Homestarrunner is probably as old as the Star Wars kid, I still check it Monday after Monday for a new Strong Bad e-mail.

My fan-loves from the year 2008:

Kristin Wiig (and, by extension, all of Saturday Night Live): I've started watching SNL kind of religiously, and found it such a wonderful addition to my life. I like almost anything they do about politics, I "Really!" enjoy Seth and Amy at the Newsdesk, and the Digital Shorts are usually pretty re-watchable. But I effing love Kristin Wiig. She is the funniest person on television right now, Steve Carell notwithstanding. Wiig pulls off the most awkward, quirky, unbelievable characters I've ever seen, and always leaves me cackling helplessly, falling sideways out of my chair. Check out her Penelope, Judy Grimes, Bjork, and her Sue the surprise lady. Also a favorite: her impersonation of a sweepstakes reporter at the scene with a big winner.

Girl Talk: I'm a postmodernist in that I really enjoy the pastiche. The Simpsons, Quentin Tarantino, "Bohemian Rhapsody,": I love it all. But Girl Talk is the best example of the pastiche that I can think of, and I love this guy! His music is not only exciting, organic, and moving, but I think (can I say this without being a cliche? No? Well, I'm gonna say it anyways.) he represents, in music, the experience of an entire generation. And it's awesome music to dance to if you're like me and you are a crazy dancin' fool.

Cookbooks/Books about food: So many good books have come out this year about food (or maybe they haven't all come out this year, but I've read them this year) and I love books about food! "Eat, Pray, Love," "Animal, Vegetable, Mineral," "In Defense of Food," and "Julie/Julia" are just some of the food books I've read this year and died over, to use a Buffy-ism (Turner, not Slayer).

And, speaking of food, my favorite ingredients of 2008 are: ginger, Simply Organic's salt mix, and wine. Ginger is kind of a no-brainer--it can go in desserts or entrees or even tea. I used some fresh ginger today in some kimchi fried rice; I also dice some up when I make lemongrass tea 'cause it adds a kick I like (and that I think might be good for me). The salt mix is incredible. Aside from salt, it has mustard seeds, celery seed, garlic, onion, chili, and black pepper in it--in the perfect grindable mix that is so good with roasted vegetables, soup, meat, or scrambled eggs! And wine . . . well, I know that's a touchy subject, but really, folks--if you don't drink it, try cooking with it! You'll have no idea until you try it with some pasta sauces. I just made a sauce for gnocchi last week by sauteing some garlic and mushrooms in white wine, and then mixing that with a simple bechamel, and it was the best sauce I've ever made in my life.

Finally, another celebrity: Alec Baldwin. I used to hate this guy, used to think he was smarmy and overweight, but now I think he's sexy and powerful. Watching 30 Rock changed my Alec-perspective, I think. The character he plays, Jack Donaghy, is so confident, so sarcastic, kind of chauvinistic (but in a hot way! if I can say that and still be at all a credible feminist!) and has very sensual lips. Now if only he and Kristin Wiig could have babies . . .

Tanya told me tonight that there is a paper racket being run in the dorms for students who don't want to write their own papers. Instead, these individuals pay other students to write their papers for them.

Like any crime, plagiarism simulataneously fascinates and repulses me. Part of me wants to figure out how I would run my own paper-writing business. After all, I am pretty good at writing, and I'd be able to charge all kinds of money and desperate students would pay! (Obviously I would never do this, especially as a teacher--could you imagine reading your own work?) Another part of me really wants to play detective and figure out who is doing this at Union, and "bust" them. What a heady sense of satisfaction that would be, striking fear into the hearts of students everywhere.

But why anyone would even pay for this service just astounds me. Doing plagiarism right is not that hard, people. Really. It takes work, yes, but it's not hard.

First of all, find a paper on a topic that you can at least converse on. That way, if you have to talk to your teacher in conference or in class, you will not sound like a complete idiot.

Secondly, read the paper several times. Make sure you really know what it is saying. While "getting to know" the paper, also check out some of the sources included in the works cited (I'll tell you why in a minute).

Then, after you've read the paper several times, begin rewriting it. Pay special attention to the intro and the conclusion--consider personalizing the intro by including a story of your own about why this topic interests you. As you rewrite the paper, make sure to change all the words that are not in your daily vocabulary--I don't mean just the really hard words, but even the words or phrases that are not the way you would actually say something. Except for the quotes, which have to stay the way they are, you need to paraphrase everything!

Include some errors, as well--mix up a period and a semicolon here or there, misspell a word or two, and include some awkward phrasing, a run-on, and an improperly formatted citation. If you're really not a great writer, even consider messing with the general organization of the paper . . . not enough to get a bad grade, but enough so that the flow isn't perfect.

Finally, consider throwing in a few quotes from the sources you checked out that you yourself found, just to make sure you differentiate yourself enough from the original. Also, delete some of the quotes that the original paper used, and even some of the sources. You don't want your teacher indexing every article that has ever used Stephen A. King's source on Reggae and Rastafarian politics, for example--she might find the article you are plagiarizing.

Don't forget, before you hand it in, to make sure that your font is consistent, that your name is on the front page, and that you change the title!

This way maybe, just maybe, your teacher won't realize you've plagiarized--although with the amount of work it would take, you might as well write the damn paper.

Sometimes I wonder if one tiny aspect of my life were changed, how many other changes would there be?

One example is the house where I'm living. When I first moved to Lincoln, I looked at an apartment only a few yards from my front door, and hated it. If my current house had been for rent, I'm sure I would have noticed it, looked at it, and probably moved in. I would never have lived at 901 D Street. Maybe I would have taken my car to a different place for an oil change, and then it wouldn't have broken down and I'd still have it. Maybe I would have gotten another cat right away, and then I wouldn't have gotten Dwight. Maybe Daniel and I would still be friends, because we wouldn't have carpooled together. Maybe I wouldn't have enjoyed last spring so much, because I wouldn't have walked or biked so much. Maybe I wouldn't have been woken up so often by the sound of my neighbors having sex, or the smell of them smoking. Maybe . . .

This kind of thing could go on forever. It's interesting to think of all the ways my choice to live downtown, and specifically at Apartment D, affected me. But it's just a mental exercise. I can't regret that decision, because I don't really know how life could have been different. Maybe it wouldn't be different at all.

There are only two decisions I've made that I regret. One was to pass up a relationship with someone I really cared about; the other was to move to Lincoln. In the first case, things have turned out fine anyways, perhaps better. In the second case, I can speculate all day long about what life would be like if I'd stayed in Berrien, but I'll never know. What I regret most about those decisions was not the outcome specifically, although both made me very unhappy for a span of time. Instead, I regret how I made the decisions.

I chose out of fear and self-preservation. I coldly weighed the pros and cons, and picked the action that seemed the safest bet, that held the most obvious benefits for me, without really considering which one would make me happy.

I don't usually do that; with big choices I try to consider the issue rationally for quite a while, and then choose the option that I feel most at peace with, that my gut says "Yes" to. I like living this way; it works for me. Even when things don't go the way I'd hoped, I don't look back with regret because I know I made the best decision I could. The "uselessness of regret," as I read in a poem somewhere, is not something I allow to poison my life.

Lincoln still feels like a mistake sometimes. I look around Union and wonder, "How did I get back here? And why am I still here?" But I'm learning lots, growing up a bit, and some things have happened here that I wouldn't trade for anything, that have expanded my world and made me a better person. And I know that, where ever I end up next, I'll make that decision using my head and my heart.

Unless I get rejected from all my schools and, in a panic, decide to join the Army. I'm not sure what part of my body would be responsible for that decision.

Last night, I shamelessly but covertly read someone else's journal. She was in front of me typing on her computer, there was nothing else to look at, and I was bored! I mean, anyone would have caved under the pressure and snuck a look or two . . . or seven. But instead of gaining privileged insight into the psyche of another human being, or at least being pleasurably scandalized by untold secrets, I was appalled at the lack of content and style. I shouldn't have been--I teach collegiate-level composition--but I was.

"Then we went to the grocery store and I wanted to get a pineapple for the fruit salad, but my mom said, 'No, let's get some kiwi instead' so we did, only one of them was smashed a little bit, so we didn't have enough kiwi and had to make Jell-O for dessert. Then we watched The Devil Wears Prada. It was funny. Lol."

Reading this made me want to pull a Weekend Update and say, "Really? Really, Sandra*--grocery shopping with your mom is a journal-worthy event, really? You write "Lol" in your journal? Really?"

I'm spewing my bitter, sarcastic, elitist nonsense here because I can't do it in class, but really? When I journal, I'm either working out some personal issue, writing deep thoughts and life-lessons I'll want to remember later, or describing an event with some sort of flair--you know, trying to capture its essence on page. But that's just me. If I just want an account of what I do with my time, personally, I think a note in a day-planner would do just fine: "Grocery shopped with mom. Watched movie. Got drunk to distract myself from my boring life." Again, just me.

But maybe I'm being too harsh. Who am I to judge? (Other than a writing teacher, that is.) What is interesting to me is probably not interesting to everyone else. Scratch that, it's definitely not interesting to everybody. In fact, who's to say that my blog isn't really boring for some readers? My question for those people is: why are you still reading? Do I need to include a disclaimer on my profile? "The views contained herein are the views of the author only, and are not guaranteed to interest all readers."

I've thought about my blog quite a bit lately, especially as bloggers are gaining status outside the blogosphere. I enjoy blogging about my life and experiences, but sometimes I want to DO something with my blog, like write about cooking (been done, and better than I could do--check out Julie and Julia for example), or share really terrible student papers with bitingly hilarious remarks (probably illegal, and definitely unprofessional), or tell stories of Dwight's feline escapades (lame and nobody would read it except for Michael because I would make him). I've thought about making my blog a general culture review where I discuss music and TV, or even exploiting my nerdly expertise by reviewing modern pulp fantasy novels (finally--my niche!).

Anyways, I'm not a consistent enough writer to make any of those happen, so my blog will probably continue to be, as ever, sporadically published, running the gamut of topics, and containing the highest quality of thought and aesthetics. Lol.

*Name has been changed to protect the boring.